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Month: August 2015

Never assume

Never assume

You know that saying, “Never ASSUME, because when you ASSUME, you make an ASS of U and ME.”? Well, in this household, assuming earns you a spanking.

I’m annoyed at Mr Kitty because he assumed that if I was horny one night, when he clearly wouldn’t be able to perform due to tiredness, I would be horny the next night, AND would allow him to actually have sex with me. Hah. As if.

He was right in that I did get horny; very horny, in fact. But that’s what dildos are for, right? And slave tongues? My own fingers? Yes, all those things got used. His cock didn’t.

I shouldn’t even refer to it as a cock on this blog anyway, what with being so useless in its little metal cage that he might as well have a clit instead of a cock. But no, a cock is better. A cock lets me tease him by stroking him on the exposed bits, through the gaps of the chastity device, without ever running the risk of giving him actual, physical, orgasm-inducing pleasure. A clit would let him just play with himself. I don’t want that.

I should find out when was the last time I let him have an orgasm. Or really, how many times he’s had an orgasm since I started this blog. If it’s any more than 20, he gets punished. Either way, there’s 4 full months till the end of the year, and I don’t intend to let him cum more than 5 times.



In other news, my uber busy spell is soon coming to an end. Yay! Almost there. Also, I think we’ve found the perfect wedding venue. We just need to visit it, which will happen next month because it’s two flights away… I was hoping to look for a venue next year, since the wedding is ages away (and thank god for that. I don’t need any more stress right now!) but this place is very popular so it has to be done. As much as I hate weddings, I’m really looking forward to the travelling bit.

Funnily enough, the very first decision we made after we got engaged, before I even picked my ring, was that there’s no way in hell he’s fucking me on the wedding night. It’s either group sex or anal for him. We’ll see.

Being open about open relationships

Being open about open relationships

Sometimes I’m surprised at the things people focus on when I mention certain parts of my funky relationship with Mr Kitty. For example, the other day I was having lunch with some coworkers. These are people who work in the same company as me but in different departments, so technically they’re not really coworkers, but people I’m friendlier with due to being a similar age. Some are very good friends, and some I barely know beyond regularly having lunch with them. Anyway, one of the girls remarked that she never realised before just how slutty some girls our age are. As opinionated as I usually am, I don’t like getting into certain topics without giving full disclosure of anything that might colour my view on the topic, so before I responded to that, I mentioned that I’m in a “slightly open relationship”. It wasn’t a big deal, as a few of the people at the table knew about the openness, and at least two have read this blog. The conversation went on as normal but no questions were asked about my relationship with Mr Kitty.

At least, not until we went out for drinks later that day.

We went to a nice place and ordered some cocktails. After a while, the girl who’d made the comment about sluttiness asked if I’d mind her asking some questions. I expected the usual stuff I get every once in a while, namely: whether I’ve ever had a threesome, whether Mr Kitty is allowed to have sex with other people, whether I’ve ever been hurt by our arrangement, etc. But no, she asked… how do I protect myself from STDs. Of all the times I’ve had this conversation, this is the first time anyone’s ever asked that question. All I could tell her was that it was the same as when you have a one night stand (I bet she thinks I’m also a slut now!), but she said she’s only been with one guy before, her boyfriend of a few years, and has never given consideration to that sort of thing. To me, that’s crazy. Not the part about only being with one guy, but the part where she’s never really thought about safer sex. Especially someone as smart as this girl.

Another girl (this one is a good friend)  asked whether I have casual sex very often. Coming from anyone else, that might have been a loaded question. In her case though, I know her well enough to know that she was genuinely curious. She sometimes tells me about her own exploits. 😉 But again, it’s not one of the standard questions that I’ve come to expect every time a new person finds out about the ‘weird’ things we’re into. It might be because it’s nearly always guys, not girls, doing the asking.

After those two questions, the evening went on as usual, with no further references to my relationship.

It could be argued that giving details about my sex life to people I could eventually work with isn’t a wise move. For a lot of people, if their coworkers found out that they were into an alternative lifestyle, it could negatively impact their careers. I’m lucky that in my case, that’s not ever an issue. I don’t mention my sex life to my immediate team at work because I feel genuinely uncomfortable with breaking my professionalism when we’re in a professional environment. However, I’m pretty much the only one in my team who doesn’t talk about those things, so if they ever found out, it’s not something that would bother me. I have the impression that I’m one of very few sex bloggers who can say the same thing.



We’re both ready.

The metal cage is back.

In truth, I almost felt like starting this blog post with “dear diary”, but I haven’t kept a diary since I was about 9, and I feel like I was less vulnerable then, than I am now. I realised long ago that I draw so much strength from Mr Kitty that when he’s not able to provide as much support as I’m used to, I find it really hard to cope. And I don’t even notice it while things are happening, when I’m trying to help him, or when we’re still ‘getting through things’. I only notice it afterwards, once it’s all done and I’m drained and something feels off.

Mr Kitty is almost fully healthy again. I’m so glad. The last few days haven’t been very nice.

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