Disclaimer: despite the title, if you’re hoping for sexy you’ll have to wait till my next post!
I am 25 years old as of last week. Also known as “halfway to 50”, according to Mr Kitty. Backstory: I think that’s payback for when he turned 27, just after we first met, and I insisted that he was now in his late 20s. Halfway to 50 it is. I feel fine. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not ageing but moving towards what I consider to be a woman’s sexiness peak, which often happens in her 30s. That’s where the youthful looks are still mostly there, but the woman is confident enough to carry herself well.
I still look very young. When my coworkers found out it was my birthday, they asked me how old I was and they simply didn’t believe me. They asked me to specify my year of birth, like bouncers sometimes do outside nightclubs to check that you’re not lying. They thought I was about 18, and no more than 20. When I was 18, people guessed 16 by looking at me, and 23 when I started talking. Having opinions makes you sound older, apparently.
Overall, I feel like I’m slowly improving. Maturing like a good wine, as they say. Except I’m even tastier! I’ve always found it easier to build rapport with older people and people in positions of authority, but I remember many an occasion where I would fake confidence in my contributions while freaking out inside. It used to be a lot harder to keep a steady voice and a composed appearance. I used to hope people would listen to me. These days I expect them to listen; no freaking out required. As it turns out, if you’re not boastful and you respectfully treat people as equals (perhaps under the thin veneer of honorific titles), people tend to pay attention to what I have to say.
This is the first time in my life that I have no planned next step. I’ve always known what I would be doing. I know my life goals. I knew how to get where I wanted and was following my perfect plan. But somewhere along the way, I threw out all the next steps and decided to take a different path. The next few years will be a bit of a gamble, and whether we can keep to our discussed timeline for starting a family is anyone’s guess. But you know what? I’m happier this way. Most people I know don’t have a plan, and they don’t care. I wouldn’t want to be like this my whole life (or even a year!) but, right now, it’s actually kind of nice. I’ll worry about it later, when I finish my masters and realise that I should have applied for an engineering job by now…
I’m excited about the future, probably more than I’ve ever been.