I think I’m a creep. Not the type that has a cock and wears a long coat, hides in the bushes, and waits for innocent schoolgirls to pass by before jumping out and flashing them. I’m more the type that looks at her Facebook wall, sees the picture of a particular girl, and wonders what could have been. We’ll call her Alice, though that’s not her real name.
Alice is breathtakingly beautiful. She could have been a model, but she’s far too intelligent for such a career, and perhaps too pretty and feminine to pull off the boyish sulky looks required of high fashion models these days. If there is a god, he made Alice his golden standard for female beauty. If you think about the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever seen, and then dial up the beauty a few notches, you’ll start to get closer to how she looks. Add aquamarine blue eyes and dark blonde hair, and there you have her. Alice is also engaged, if not already married, and I haven’t seen her in years. I’m not even friends with her beyond what Facebook calls friendship. I don’t know in which country she lives. I don’t think she remembers I exist.
Years ago my then-fuck buddy called me over to his house. I knew he’d have girls over, which meant that this was an invitation for crazy sexy fun. Sadly, I was too tired to accept the invitation so I decided to stay home. I didn’t think things through and now I regret it. One of the girls was Alice, which brings me to why I’m a creep. Every time I see her on Facebook I have a small horny frustrated mental crash where my mind just goes “why… why did you say no”. It’s such a stupid thing. Can you imagine how creepy she would think I am if she knew? As a girl, I’ve been told by many guys that they’ve wanked thinking of me, but I would be somewhere between surprised and disturbed if I found out that some girl out there gets pangs of regret every time she sees my picture on Facebook!
I’m not sure why I’m sharing that here but I feel like I needed to tell someone… even if it’s pretty much the whole world.
See, as a girl who’s into guys, 99% of the prevented sexual experiences in my life are of men who wanted to be with me, not me wanting to be with some girl. For example, this week we’ve had very hot weather for England. I don’t do well in hot weather (I don’t like being exposed to the sun) so I’ve been wearing sun dresses that are more revealing than I would like. I still need to do my masters work regardless of the weather, and at the moment it involves a lot of talking to men in our mechanical workshop at university. My supervisor advised me months ago to not look too pretty while I’m there because it’s such a male environment, but I can’t help wearing lower-cut dresses in the horrible heat! As a result, my boobs have a newfound respect among the technicians in the workshop. My face… not so much. This is more like what I’m used to. It’s open and obvious. I know they’re staring at my boobs. I know they want me just because I’m a girl (I have the right body lumps and that’s enough for them) and that’s how it usually works.
Having typed that out, I’m wondering if my ex’s best friend still keeps that creepy picture of me that he used (without permission) as his desktop background.
Anyway, the hotter weather has also meant that in the Kitty household everyone is permanently naked. In hot countries a house will usually have AC. In England we don’t (oh, how I miss it), and the high humidity means that anything above 25ºC becomes uncomfortable. So no clothes it is. Mr Kitty’s antibiotics for his skin issues are taking their time to take effect. To avoid making the problem worse, he’s only locked up on and off. This week our life has been as sexually charged as it gets, but not quite fulfilled.
First, I was getting all the orgasms I wanted using my fingers and his tongue, with my body getting more and more pleasure each time, as it does when my period is about a week away, until I finally let him fuck me. Once that happened, my body stopped cooperating, gave me only one orgasm and decided that sex was more tiring than it was worth. Zero orgasms for him of course, but I don’t like only getting one!
Then, I let him use a dildo while in the shower to prepare his ass for some loving. He went too hard and hurt himself slightly and I didn’t get to fuck him. Finally, once he was comfortable again with his ass being messed with, I found out that he’s actually embarrassed of ass play unless he is (and I quote) “locked up, very submissive and cock hungry”. He was ridiculously submissive, but not the other things. One of the times we were lying around and nakedly cuddling on our bed, I started to circle the outside of his asshole with my finger.
Me: “On a scale from 0 to 10, how rapey would it be if I were to finger your ass anyway?”
Him: “Er… 7.”
Me: “Wait, how is it not 10?”
Him: “Because you’re warning me first, and I know you’ll do it anyway.”
For the record, he did consent eventually. I was gentle and loving and only used my fingers. I’m planning on finishing what I started by fucking him when I go to bed in a few minutes. He’s still unlocked (not allowed to wank) and, for once, I will actually stimulate his cock as I penetrate him. Hopefully that will change his mind about only ever doing ass things when he’s locked up “and cock-hungry”. The way I see it, that’s when I get to have full control over my kittyslave.
PS and Lost spoilers:
We’re re-watching Lost at the moment because the first time around, I bailed when it became more ridiculous than usual. I’d forgotten just how sexy Josh Holloway is. Seriously, he’s so hot that I get instantly wet when he’s on screen. Today we saw the episode where Sawyer gets tortured… and I got embarrassingly horny during that scene. Yup, apparently all I want is to tie up Josh Holloway and push sharpened bamboo sticks up his nail beds.