Why chastity?

Why chastity?

A lot could be said about the effect of male chastity on relationships, but I think each person has their own reasons to initiate and maintain a chastity-based relationship. These are mine:

Total submission

I love knowing that I have total control over Mr Kitty’s ability to orgasm. It sounds so simple, but it makes a world of difference to our life together. It means that I get to control him in other ways, and I’m worshipped by him at all times. I have a cup of tea waiting for me when I get home from work, and a slave that I can watch when he cleans the house wearing a fluffy tail butt plug.


One of the great things about our little game is that we get to try all sorts of new things that we wouldn’t have considered in a more vanilla relationship. It can be so much fun! Over time, we have accumulated quite a collection of dildos and butt plugs, harnesses, paddles, etc. Since Mr Kitty doesn’t often get to fuck me, he’s become very good at servicing me with his tongue and fingers. Sometimes I allow him to fuck me with a strap on, or watch me play with myself. Sex is never really a ‘same old’ for us, and neither is everyday life. Teasing him when he least expects it is really good fun, second only to the face he makes when I ruin his orgasms. =P


Keeping him in his cage brings intimacy to a whole new level. We decided early on in our relationship that we would separate the ideas of sex and love, rather than consider them intrinsically linked. This way, I can get sexual release with other people, and still keep my kittyslave locked up. He still knows I love him, and I do unlock him sometimes for lovemaking, just not as often as if I needed him for sexual fulfilment! When I allow him to remove his cage and put his little cock in me, he knows that I’m choosing him out of love, since I could get a better fuck elsewhere.

Relationship benefits

Before I got into male chastity, I used to consider myself the ‘jealous type’. A couple of my previous relationships broke down because of it. I thought exclusivity in sex was a given in a relationship. Mr Kitty says he was the same. Well, maybe it’s the way we encourage each other to keep an open mind, but bringing chastity into our relationship has completely solved this issue. I am, of course, allowed to have sex with whoever I want, as long as I let him know (he doesn’t get a right to veto, he just needs to know that it’s happening, and if possible, be allowed to get involved). I’m ok with him having that freedom every once in a while, but under my rules. Namely, with guys only, and only as a bottom.


With being his keyholder comes a responsibility to look after him. Having physical and psychological control of Mr Kitty means that I must always be careful that our arrangement is still as fulfilling for him as it is for me. My aim is to never cause him to be bored. If he’s bored, I have failed him as his keyholder. This requires a lot more communication than I realised at the beginning.  It can sometimes be very difficult to get a man to talk about his feelings and needs, so we make an effort to be as open as necessary to make sure that we’re both happy. Chastity play definitely brings us closer together.

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